waitress poems

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


The most handsome man I ever saw
spent his summers
glistening on the hood of a car
that hadn’t moved in at least a year.
Spectacularly shirtless, he smoked too much dope,
married at seventeen, was never around
when the social workers came to
evaluate his wife’s claim.
The most handsome man I ever saw
was a gardener; his beans and sunflowers
sprawled in the open field
behind the project, a verdant patch
in a scraped out lot that belonged to no one.
And all through the short steamy season
the women, the young girls, the chicas--
they came to him. Came to him in the dark,
came to him in the garden,
came to him in the stalled out car--
his office in the Department
of Dangerously Stunning Idlers.
They came to smell the sun that
lingered on his skin, came to understand
why they shivered in 90 degree heat
when he passed them on the street,
came to taste the lush red tomatoes
that grew sweeter that summer
than they ever would again.


  • Beauty does account for many sinners forgiven, again carfully crafted
    I love the repetition
    Came to him in the dark,
    came to him in the garden,
    came to him in the stalled out car--

    By Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson, at 11:10 AM  

  • Thanks, Sue. Your visits--and especially your comments--are always appreciated.

    By Blogger Patry Francis, at 11:57 AM  

  • For the record, I hate repetition... usually, but Sue is right, it's perfect here! Not overdone, perfect word choice for the repeated lines, and follows such sensual imagery and mood.

    This piece is ooh laa la!

    By Blogger Erin, at 12:19 PM  

  • Lovely images in this. I can see him. I wonder if tying up some of the run ons would change the whole flavor of the piece. It probably would. If it works, it shouldn't be fixed. I have read this at least twice. I think it works.

    By Blogger Vickie, at 7:12 PM  

  • Thank-you Patry as are yours to me

    By Blogger Sue hardy-Dawson, at 12:41 PM  

  • I love to write and to read good stuff. So I think I have found a comfy place to hang out here,
    Now I need to finish my own poece for today before the sun comes up and the idea withers. 6:12 am

    By Blogger David, at 6:12 AM  

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